


Kintsugi

by Justmenoworries



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kuron dealing with some stuff, Kuron deserved better, Operation Kuron (Voltron), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 14:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16064852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justmenoworries/pseuds/Justmenoworries
Summary: "Kintsugi (金継ぎ, "golden joinery"), also known as Kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair"), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise."After the events of "The Black Paladins" Kuron wakes up in a pod on the way to Olkari, with no idea what is going to happen to him.





	Kintsugi

 

 

_“Transfer successful. Vital signs stabilizing.”_

_“So this is it? That’s the clone now?”_

_“Don’t call him that Lance.”_

_“Geez, sorry. I’m just telling it like I’m seeing it.”_

Loud. _  
_

Why was everything so loud?

Sound usually didn’t travel that fast in the astral plane. He knew. _  
_

It just got swallowed by the all surrounding darkness, until merely faint echoes remained.

But those voices weren’t echoes.

They were as clear as could be.

Weird.

He groaned at the sound attacking his sensitive ears. _  
_

_“Is he really alright?”_ someone asked. There was genuine concern in that one.

_“His body and mind have been under a lot of stress. If all goes according to our calculations, he’ll awaken in a few ticks. Though it might take him some time to get used to the....circumstances.”_

Allura.

The one who’d said that was Allura.

Slowly but steadily it came back to him.

The two voices he’d heard first were Keith and Lance.

And the one who had asked about him being alright was...

A feeling of dread and confusion washed over him.

That had been _his_ voice.

How...?

 _“Let’s leave him to  come to for a while. There is nothing more we can do at the moment.”_ he heard Allura say.

_“If you say so, princess.”_

Again that voice that was his and wasn’t at the same time.

He was dreaming.

Or hallucinating.

It was the only explanation.

The isolation had finally caught up to him.

He felt so heavy all of a sudden. What little awareness he had of his surroundings was slowly drifting away.

The last thing he heard was Keiths voice saying _“Don’t worry Shiro. He’ll pull through. You did, remember?”_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 And he was gone again.The next time consciousness finds him, he actually manages to open his eyes.

There is glass above him and a grey-white ceiling.

It feels familiar and yet he can’t help the uneasiness the sight of it automatically brings up. It’s all still barely a blurr.

Something is wrong and he doesn’t know what.

He can hear voices again, coming from the under side of whatever the contraption he’s lying in is.

They sound light-hearted, yet stressed, relieved, yet on edge.

Having fought an intergalactic war can cause such interesting dualities, he muses.

Even when there’s no one to be fought, you still find yourself having one hand constantly hovering over the nearest weapon.

He’d always hoped he’d remain the only one out of the Paladins who’d know what that felt like.

His vision finally sets back into focus and he can see clearly. And it takes him roughly half a minute to realize he’s in the black lion again.

He shoots up, only to whack his head on the still closed glass panel of the pod he’s in and lets out a pained groan, clutching his forehead in his hand.

“What was that?”, comes the voice that should belong to him from where he presumes the cockpit is.

A couple of hurried footsteps.

“Shiro! He’s awake!”

He blinks, unsure whether that’s relief or fear he hears in Keith’s voice. And the next thing he knows Keith is standing right above him, bayard in one hand. The _red_ bayard, he notices.

“How is he?” comes the voice from the cockpit again.

Keith frowns and it occurs to him he should probably say something, so they know he’s not brain damaged or anything like that.

“Where am I?” he croaks.

“He’s talking.” Keith answers the voice's question, completely ignoring him. “What do we do with him?”

Silence. Hesitance? Or just thinking about how to get rid of him best?

“We’ll be on Olkari soon,” the voice finally says. “I....I think we should put him under until then. Just...just to be safe.”

“Wait-!”

But Keith has already pressed a button on the outside of the pod and he can feel his body shut down as it suddenly grows cold around him. The last thing he sees is a look of conflict and pity in Keith's eyes.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 He awakens in an Olkarian jail cell, a plate of food standing near the door. It takes time to get used to eating with one arm, but he manages.

After the meal, he just sits on the mattress and stares at the closed door for a while, not really seeing it. The longer he sits there in silence, the more comes back to him.

Excruciating, sudden pain. The witch's voice in his head, telling him to give in. That he is hers. And then his body isn’t his anymore. More and more images keep flooding him, each one more horrifying than the last. He sees himself fighting Keith in a place he does not know but he does. Keith is a worthy opponent, but his arm has received a few upgrades and he’s not holding back.

He hears Keith screaming that he loves him and he stops mid-movement. A little bit of the old him manages to break through after that. It’s just enough for Keith to cut off his arm. He is finally in control again, looking up at Keith, trying to explain, voice pleading.

“Keith....”

_I never wanted to, It wasn’t me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-_

And then everything goes black.

His whole body is shaking. He whimpers and curls in on himself, as if that could protect him from the horror of realization.

He is not Takashi Shirogane.

He is not the Black Paladin.

Heck, he isn’t even a person. He’s a _thing_ , an experiment, a walking talking puppet made by the Galra to tear Voltron apart from the inside. The strange voice that sounded so much like him was the real Shiro, returned to his team at last.

After he almost murdered them.

The tears start falling without him realizing it. He doesn’t have the strength or the will to stop them anymore.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 Days go by without anyone coming to see him.

Apart from the guards who routinely shove a tray of food into his cell, he has no contact with the outside world. No way of knowing what they’re going to do to him. Once he makes the mistake of asking how the Paladins of Voltron are doing. All he gets are distrustful glares and silence.

He doesn’t blame them. It’s a miracle they even let him _live_ after all he did.

Still, there is a tiny, stubborn part of him that thinks it’s just not.... _fair_.

He never asked to be turned into a living weapon. He never wanted to attack everyone he knew and loved. He never asked to be _made_.

He knows thinking like this isn’t helpful in any way. But knowing that you deserve to die doesn’t make the thought of actual death easier.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 It’s about noon he deduces, looking at the tiny strip of orange light coming from a small window in his jail cell. He isn’t really hungry for dinner. Constantly waiting for your date of execution to be announced will do that. He hears the tell-tale whirr of the prison tract's doors and stands up to receive his meal.

Only to freeze mid-motion.

He’s looking right into a mirror.

Shiro - the real one - is standing right in front of his cell, a tray of food in each hand.

“Um. Hey,” Shiro says, smiling awkwardly. “I,um...convinced the guards to let me bring your rations this time. Mind if I eat with you?”

Does he? He honestly has no idea. On one hand, having company that isn’t constantly giving him the evil eye could be nice. But on the other hand.....

His eyes wander down to the plate on the tray.

 

Could it be poisoned? Is this some sort of mercy-last meal?

He immediately dismisses the idea again.

Shiro would never do that to someone who is in no position to fight back.

He should know. He’s unknowingly pretended to _be_ the guy for months, after all.

Noticing that Shiro is still waiting for an answer, he finally nods slowly. What other option does he have, if he wants clarity about his fate?

Shiro’s gives a relieved smile and hands him the plate through the little trap door-like installation in the cell door.

For a while they just sit there, eating in silence and occasionally throwing glances at each other.

He can’t help but note how different Shiro actually is from him. Not just because of the undercut and the clothing. It’s the way he slumps just a little when he scoops up another spoon of Olkarian porridge, or how relaxed he looks sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the person who basically replaced him, while said person himself is stiff as a rod. They really aren’t the same.

Inevitably, they both reach the bottom of their plates at almost the same time and if the situation was any different, he would have found that funny. It is not, so he doesn’t.

The silence is slowly getting unbearable.

Just as he’s about to say something, anything, Shiro speaks first.

“You know, it’s funny,” he says, looking down on his empty plate. “When I came down here, I had a whole speech laid out in my head. What I was gonna say to you, how I was gonna say it and in what tone....but right now? I can’t remember it at all. Weird, right?”

He supposes it is. Telling a guy you’re going to axe him off doesn’t take so many words, does it?

“I...I guess I’ll just make do then. What....what I wanted to say to you was...” Shiro stops for a second and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opens them again, he lifts his head and looks him right in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

He might as well have set off a bomb. He stares at him, blinking somewhat dumbfounded. That is...certainly no what he’d expected the guy who’s identity he stole to say to him at their first meeting.

“What are you sorry for?” he blurts out. He can’t stop himself.

Shiro shrugs and gives a lop-sided smirk that is filled to the brim with remorse.

“Everything, basically. You..you didn’t know what... _who_ you were. You’re as much as a victim in this as all of us. And all I’ve been doing so far is treat you like you were the enemy. I....I called you “evil”, a _‘thing’!_ ”

At that Shiro looks honestly disgusted with himself for a moment. But he snaps out of it and looks at him with sad eyes.

“I of all people should know what it’s like to be turned into a weapon by the Galra without knowing it. And yet here I am, blaming you for something you had absolutely no control over. Back there in the pod when you woke up for the first time, I should have just let you out, I should have talked to you or at least see if you were alright or _something_. Instead I just....” He sighs, rubbing his forehead. “So yeah. I came here to tell you just how wrong I was to do that to you. And I hope you can forgive me, but if you can’t, that’s completely understandable.”

He doesn’t answer. He just sits there, staring, trying to digest what’s just happened.

“You’re asking _me_ ,” he finally says, “to forgive _you_? Are you quiznaking serious right now?”

Shiro seems taken aback by this sudden outburst, but the floodgates have already been opened and he can’t hold himself back anymore.

“It’s like you said: I’m a thing! A creature made by the Galra to destroy you and everyone you love! I infiltrated your team! I stole the Black Lion from you, I, I almost got them all _killed_ on Narxela and let’s not forget the time when I almost blew them up! If anything, I should be apologizing to _you_! You shouldn’t even _be_ here talking to me like, like I’m human or something. What do you get from that? Why haven’t you killed me yet? _What do you want from me_???”

He’s breathing heavily. During the time he’s talked he’s been getting closer and closer to the cell door and now Shiro and him are standing right in front of each other. There’s something in Shiro’s eyes he can’t quite place. Something like...shock? Pity? Understanding? All of that?

“Do you remember that time you had to defend a convoy of supply ships and Keith wasn’t there?”, Shiro says suddenly, taking him slightly aback.

“Y-yeah?”

“Well, it’s a little hard to explain, but...when you came to the Black Lion that day...I was there. Kinda.”

Shiro pauses, looking hesitant, but then continues: “At first, I was...wary of you. I didn’t know who you were, what your plan was, what you wanted. But...then you actually talked to Black. You were asking her, no, _begging_ her to help you. You sincerely wanted to get out there, you wanted to help the team save lives!” He shakes his head at that as if he still can’t believe it. “I was surprised to say the least. But I could feel you meant everything you said to Black. That’s why we let you pilot in the first place. And that’s why I’m here.”

Shiro gives him a warm smile. “You’re not a thing, or a creature. You’re a person. And a pretty great one at that. You watched over them, when I couldn’t. You lead them to the best of your abilities, through good and bad. And you never stopped trying to protect them, even when that witch took over you. You deserve a second chance. Just like I did, when I was in your shoes. And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that. So....if you still want to help us win this war...”

Shiro presses his hand on a panel on the cells outside and the door deactivates.

He watches the door slowly retreat until there is nothing separating the two of them. He looks up again to see Shiro’s hand extended to him.

“I could really use a co-pilot. A lot of things have happened since we got to Olkari. Only if you want to, of course.”

He stares at Shiro’s hand, not saying a word.

What is he supposed to say?

Does he _have_ to say anything?

His head is a mess and he’s pretty sure Haggar has nothing to do with it this time.

Here he was, expecting to be axed off soon and instead Shiro himself is standing right here, in front of him, giving him freedom and, if he wants to, so much more.  
And he definitely wants to. He wants to so bad. And yet....  
  
“How do you know you can trust me?” he whispers. “What if the witch just...takes over and uses me to hurt you or the others again?”

“She won’t,” Shiro answers, holding his gaze. “We’ll do everything in our power to make sure she’ll never be able to do that to you again. I promise.”

He thinks about that for a while.

Then he takes a deep breath-and takes Shiro’s hand, giving it a shake.

“I’m in.” He gives a smirk. “But don’t expect me to take over for you during long, boring political meetings again.”

Shiro laughs. “Noted.”

They walk through the prison’s corridors together and he can’t help but think how great the experience of being able to walk more than a few feet without running into a wall really is.

“Hey, I can’t believe I’m only asking this now,” Shiro says,” but what’s your name?”

“My name?”

He tries to remember a time when he wasn’t Shiro. He remembers having flash-backs of Galra scientists, speaking of “Operation Kuron” which he assumes is him, but he comes to the conclusion that that is not what he wants to be called. That’s not who he is anymore.

“If it’s not too forward,” Shiro says, tearing him out of his thoughts, “I’ve got an idea for one. Want to hear it?”

He shrugs. “Sure.”

“What do you think of Ryou?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, the ending of the Kuron - arc was cheap, insulting bs. So I decided to give this character some love and the redemption arc he deserved.  
> In case you're confused about the start, yes Shiro is still the Black Paladin in this one, because Black Paladin Keith was nostalgia-driven nonsense and Shiro deserves to be a paladin after all he's been through to win Blacks trust.
> 
> Also, co-pilot Ryou Shirogane is wholesome and a satisfying ending for this characters arc.


End file.
